Radiogurl a la Carte

Wednesday, Mar. 02, 2005
Everything Old Is New Age Again

Dang... I haven't had problems with my knee in a long time but I knew last night it was going to be giving me fits again this morning, and sure enough! I had to dig out my knee brace (finding it through a haze of headache and sleep was itself a miracle) and wrap it around. I'm now at least able to hobble from point A to point B, albeit slowly and leaning like the tower of Pisa.

I called in late to work this morning. The stress is catching up, gave me a low-grade headache and gave my stomach a nasty kick. It's all stress - having no time off in three years and working the kind of hours I work, it's bound to catch up sooner or later. This past year was especially rough because I didn't get any days off at all for holidays. I was off Christmas Day because it was my regular day off and I went out of town so I wouldn't get called in; but that was it. I had to work Thanksgiving Day and New Years' Day, and I certainly didn't get other time off, unless you count three days in the throes of some of the nastiest flu bug I've had in years.

Still no vehicle - it's waiting for me and I'm paying it off, but it'll probably be a while. Until I have the truck paid off and in my name, I realistically can't do much, anyway.

Between the knee brace and the ibuprofin my body might finally get it together today. When it does I'm going to get myself on in to work. I've got to hunt for a couple of billing problems, some dating back at least 3-4 months. And that's just for starters.

I really, REALLY gotta get a new life!

On a more positive note, my forum is off to a decent start. I like the Diaryland format, but I really enjoy the more active give-and-take in a forum venue, long as it doesn't grow so large that it deteriorates into anarchy. Diaryland is sort of a one-sided conversation, with a limited exchange of comments, whereas in an online forum you can carry on real dialogue. I considered opening on my own webspace, using an open source forum package; but because so many of my friends are there on Delphi Forums, I decided to stick with their site. And in reality, Delphi is the most dynamic forum option out there.

I know Dangerspouse pooh-pooh's the idea of anything metaphysical, because it tends to screw with his devout athiesm. That's perfectly okay. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs (or lack thereof.) I personally have seen and experienced too much to dismiss the belief that death is not the end of existence, and that there are many things in our natural and supernatural world that we don't begin to understand yet.

That forum is the first online project I've started in a long time that was really something I wanted to do. It wasn't about work or about doing someone else a favor. I'm fascinated by things that go bump in the night, by how colors and other s subtle details of our environment affect us. I'm willing to consider the possibility that magic works for some people because they have the mental capacity to think it into reality. The full capabilities of the human race are unknown and that's probably a good thing. We are naturally an inquisitive species. While it's brought us to the brink of destroying ourselves on a global scale, it's also brought us incredible discoveries, cures for diseases, and breathtaking works of art.

I am going to try - again - to go lie down. The meds are kicking in and my eyelids gained a good fifty pounds in the past coupld of minutes.

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )