Radiogurl a la Carte

Friday, Apr. 29, 2005
Fourth Down

Ridiculously short note - more addendum than anything else.

Postponing the yard sale, in the Valley tonight (Phoenix area) to look at what it will cost me down to get a vehicle. Much as I cringe at the thought of stitching myself to years of monthly payments, it's a fact of life. I can do it. It's just like paying the rent and utility bills, and I do that without blinking. I gotta pay the monthly car payment and insurance and get over my aversion to borrowing money.

Just one step at a time and by golly, I can handle this. It's part of being a grown up. Acquiring debt is the American way, isn't it?

I just hate signing on the dotted line when the numbers above that line add up to such a huge chunk of my annual salary - even the bigger salary at the new station.

Little Sister thinks nothing of signing for $10K-$20K plus. I, on the other hand, find myself envisioning endless macaroni and cheese dinners (if that) and reduced everything and God-help-me-if-my-kids-move-back-in moments.

I don't deal well with the idea of owing anything to anyone; and being in debt, even for good cause, is one of my personal nightmares. It goes against every fiber of my being. I've been left holding the proverbial (and not-so-proverbial) bag way too many times and I am not willing to go down that road again.

00 drove down with me because assuming I can actually get something (which is NOT optional,) it will take two of us to drive back. I still haven't perfected the art of being in two places at once. Until I do, I need help to get from here to there and bring along a car.

But reality being what it is, this is what everyone I know suggested that I do. It's better to pay the $$blood$$ and have reliable transportation than to get what I can afford in a single cash payment right now.

All I say is that this new job had better work out. Failure may be an option but it's not one I'm willing to live with when it comes to paying my bills.

And I hope that it won't wipe out even the possibility for the fact that I'm starting a new job next week. I thought of that on the way down here but not like I can undo it now.

I honestly don't have enough cash to make a respectable down payment at this point - so I guess that it's time to punt. Wish me luck.

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )