Monday, Jul. 04, 2005
Enema of the State
Advance warning: I'm in the Snark Zone today and in top form. I have attitude and I am not afraid to use it.
Of all the memes currently making the rounds on Diaryland, I think my favorite (which I am shamelessly stealing here) comes from her-story. She hit the nail on the head with "Things that make you want to go blind."
- Bathing suits that show EVERYTHING. This goes for the extreme bikinis for women and speedos for men. If you want to go to that extreme, kindly move a little further down to the nude beach - where I do NOT have a membership. And that goes for the beautiful people, too, by the way: I don't need the reminders of my own thunder thighs and the fact that I couldn't even stuff ONE boob into two of those itty-bitty tops.
- Obscene gestures. I mean, yeah, I know what they all mean, and I understand that you're mad at person A. Trouble is that gestures are broadcast to everyone near you and frankly I don't like catching the crap for whatever person A did to make you mad in the first place. You're gesturing to the innocent in addition to the guilty.
- Babies in hoochie clothes. Any parent who dresses an 8-year-old like a hooker deserves to be shot.
- Clothes at least two or three sizes too small. Honey, even if you're a size 6, wearing a size 2 isn't attractive. If you're a size 18 and stuffing yourself into a size 12, it's not just fugly, you're in danger of a full-fledged, spontaneous, irreversable wardrobe malfunction. And careful of those buttons - with that much power behind 'em, they could put somebody's eye out when they go.
- Brittney Spears and whats-his-name. 'Nuf said.
- Ana Nicole Smith. Also known as the illegitimate daughter of Tammy Faye Baker and Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers films.
- Hollywood's current idea of beauty. Some of the new starlets look more starved than the kids in those commercials begging you to feed undernourished children. When you put a girl in a bikini and you can clearly see EVERY BONE IN HER BODY, she's too thin. Give us back role models who are - men and women - a healthy weight, neither obese nor anorexic. An ideal we should actually aspire to be, not something that's going to kill us long before we get there. This one doesn't so much make you want to go blind as it makes you sick to the pit of your stomach, knowing this person's committing slow suicide and you can't do anything to prevent it.
- Piercing gone wild. Somebody really needs to intervene. Some of these kids can never approach anything magnetic or they'll be trapped and die of starvation.
EDIT: this isn't typical piercings or even facial piercings, which don't bother me. This is the kids I've seen who had something like a HUNDRED facial piercings and imho are a walking health risk.
- About half of the paparazzi snapshots out there. Come on, do we REALLY need to see a geriatric Elizabeth Taylor half-naked and wearing no makeup? It might have been a thrill to see a bit of nudity once, but the line's been crossed.
I didn't count how many I listed - don't think there's a limit on the gag-worthy, is there? I welcome any additions you'd care to mention. No doubt I forgot something along the way. Heaven knows I've tried, hehe.
I'm writing this in segments, into notepad, so if things jump around somewhat it's because real life has been jumping around somewhat. Got another email from T - actually a little more encouraging one this time, though I still know in reason he's hiding things. And yeah, I still think one of the things he's trying to cover up is that he's married. I'm treading very, very carefully about now. I am not willing to condemn an innocent man in the event that I'm wrong; neither am I willing to become a sacrificial lamb to some jerk who's out to break every rule in the book. It's a razor's edge and if somebody falls it'll probably be me, so I'm being pretty darned careful.
Also spent about two hours, give or take, on the phone with a friend of mine. I'm very, VERY concerned about friend #3. I have beliefs in a lot of things outside the traditional norm, but in this person's case I think that suspension of disbelief has gone too far and become potentially harmful. I was enlisting input from friend #2 on the deal - only to discover that yet another mutual acquaintance was doing the same, about the same situation.
Man... Looking at that last paragraph, even I am confused, HAHA!
Meh, time to wrap this up and post it. Tonight is television night. I don't want to plop my butt down in front of the computer for the remainder of the night. Sci-Fi Channel, Discovery Channel, History Channel, HGTV, or whatever, I need some mindless diversion!
Before - After
In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )