Thursday, Aug. 04, 2005
It's nearly 10pm now and I know I need to go to bed shortly. I will... eventually...
Fortunately the situation with T turned out to be pretty much the misunderstanding I hoped it was. He had to carry his class over into the evening, for starters. I gathered he was still in session when I hit town last night and probably until close to the time I got HOME last night.
T showed up at my studios this afternoon about 1:30-ish. I wrapped things up and left early with him, about 2pm. Normally I stay later but everything was done and I hadn't taken lunch, so I had already done my 8 hours (and a little over) by that point. It was a gorgeous day - a little muggy, but rainy this afternoon, which meant about the time it started getting dark it was really cool - cool enough we had to roll up the car windows.
We broached some new territory in discussion, ranging from religion to family to work, kind of meandering all over the map (literally and figuratively, come to think of it.) As before, it was an extraordinary, peaceful escape to spend time with him, driving up along the Mogollon Rim, chatting over dinner, etc. Our tastes are very much alike in a lot of areas, including a suitably twisted sense of humor. I think he delights in making me blush, though. I'm one of those people whose face goes red over the most ridiculous things, and he had an evil gleam in his eye that told me I was in trouble. (I was, too.)
Someone again reminded me that I owe Dangerspouse a "get thy heine back online" email. Darn - I really do owe the man some contact but with everything going on lately I have kind of let the online stuff slide. I'm just cross-eyed the past couple of weeks or thereabouts. And I really DO need to sleep tonight. Sleep deprivation will do me in sooner or later, if I don't cave in to the call of the pillows soon.
Darn... I've really got to sign off for now. I'm glad to say that while I have gone through moments of insecurity, I'm feeling a little better about things with T these days. Yeah, I know that's kind of like saying Mount St. Helens had a burp in 1980 but now things are all better. I know there will be some more rumblings, but I think the big explosion is over and done. If I'm lucky, my panic attacks will go dormant indefinitely.
Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?
Before - After
In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )