Sunday, Aug. 14, 2005
Just Another Maniac In Paradise
I'm mixing my song titles these days, as you can see. It's a good reflection of my life: a lot of familiar notes, some words I've heard from time to time, and yet nothing quite comes together like I planned when I started out.
It's not that anything is precisely wrong (not counting the electrical issues from Friday's lightning strike where I work.) It's just this vague sense that I'm missing something crucial, or purposefully ignoring something that I shouldn't ignore. It's like a low-grade infection that doesn't exactly make you sick. You know it's there, not enough to require a doctor's care, but you almost wish it would get worse so you could go ahead and get it treated.
T wasn't here this week or vice versa, so my rampant insecurities are ganging up on me. I know that it's wholly irrational so I'm trying to keep busy, to prevent myself from going off the deep end. I started on a cleaning binge, trying to vacuum and pick up, do dishes, etc.
Unfortunately I had to stop the vacuuming portion early into the picture and clean out three filters, which entails washing out the extra-fine dust, which means I now have to wait for them to dry. And it's thundering and threatening rain. Needless to say, the humidity's up there enough that it's going to take everything a while to dry out.
The one more or less good thing is that I pulled down a valance in the dining area. There's a bay window with a window seat, and I keep vacuuming up debris that falls from the top of the window. I knew it was some type of insect involved and today I finally found the place where carpenter ants are marching through. I watched them. I'm glad it's not termites (and yes, I do know how to tell the difference) but the darned things are still not good news. I dusted the top window ledge with Green Light. I know it's a good way to stop an ant invasion; they pick the dust up and carry it home, and it helps eradicate the whole colony. Hopefully it takes care of the problem, because I'm tired of cleaning up the mess every single day and coming back to find a little pile of wood shavings again just a few hours later.
I'm playing around with an audio log, but no matter what I do I sound monumentally stupid to myself when I record anything. I know my voice is out there every day on the radio and I know I have a good voice, but that doesn't mean I like hearing myself. It's right up there with fingernails on a chalkboard on the level of my enjoyment.
I might still ultimately do audio entries from time to time, but I won't post them here. I'll post a link here to another site so those who want to listen can, and those who don't want to listen can skip it.
I'm also going to have to break down and get a better audio editor and microphone, or at least a super-directional mike. I just have a cheapie little Wal Mart special microphone at home at the moment and it picks up EVERYTHING, including all background noise. I think the darned thing picks up the ants gnawing on my windowsill. It's not at the top of my priority list but it's definitely moving up there.
But I digress.
Madame Brown-Thumb has killed another plant, the one that my boss's wife bought for the studios. I got vicious with scissors and cut away all of the dead leaves and stems. I know technically you shouldn't plant something new where one plant kicked the bucket but I'm going to live dangerously. I'm putting in a fern, and hopefully I'll be able both to keep the fern alive and revive what's left of the original grape-leaf ivy.
I do know what killed the ivy; I set it outside to get some sun because our studios get very little light where my plants are situated. Only trouble is, I set it out on a day when the temperatures were in the 90's F and it got direct Arizona sunlight, which will kill anything in an hour or two. And I left the sucker out overnight to fend for itself against the odd centipede, snake, scorpion, spider, lizard or drunk who wandered by to pee.
I'm telling you, this state's got some pretty darned dangerous, highly-poisonous creatures lurking around after dark. (Which includes the lizard - the Gila Monster is a poisonous lizard.)
My plans to back up everything from the station didn't work out quite like I planned. My boss was supposed to leave his external hard drive at the studios yesterday, along with bills for me to pay. He left the bills on my desk - but apparently forgot the hard drive. I'll still back us up but it will be on CD's, and I wasn't about to start working on anything that involved last night. I'll hit it starting tomorrow, I guess.
For the folks who commented on the fact that it's in the 60's here when it rains and after it gets dark, keep in mind that I live at an elevation around 5000 feet, so we have dramatic swings in temperature from day to night. When it's 100 degrees daytime, it might drop into the low 60's overnight. So when we're in the 80's daytime (which has been the case for the past three weeks or thereabouts) it's entirely possible to see the 50's overnight.
Which is just fine with me. I for one am glad that the monsoon season is hanging on longer than usual and we're getting a temperature reprieve. If it holds on for even a couple of more weeks, we'll sail into September with pretty darned livable conditions this year.
Not counting minor details like floods, fires, and lightning strikes.
I was bummed out, though. I retrieved my digicam from the truck and sauntered back into the house to upload my pictures of the big storm, only to discover that the darned pictures didn't take. I'd blame the camera but really, it's probably an ID-ten-T error. (Write that out but replace the word "ten" with the number.) It's kind of a no-brainer operation to take pictures with this camera, really. That doesn't preclude me mucking things up.
Well I think I am going to tie things up for this entry and go take a nap. I was on the phone late last night with a friend of mine and it's catching up with me now.
Before - After
In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )