Sunday, Sept. 24, 2006
I suspect everyone has those moments, the times when they know something at a gut level and yet go through this long process of self-delusion because they want it to be wrong. It's happened to me countless times and I have seen it unfold yet again despite all of my attempts to deny the truth.
No, it's not a problem between me and MC. That, thank God, is getting better every single day. I fully expect to spend the rest of my life with him or there's no way in hell I'd agree to marry him, much less go through with it. I don't know if anyone read my last entry or not, but this weekend we spent time going over the specifics of how we're going to get his entanglements with his ex over for good and how to get us married in a reasonable amount of time, so I promise y'all, it ain't me.
But seems like we're the only ones who are rock solid at the moment. I have watched too many people whose love matches went sour and witnessed too many friends ripped apart inside as a result. I watched it with a couple of dear friends a few years back and watched a rerun with another duo I know just recently, and it stinks. I saw it with my kids and can easily predict which one will get a swift kick to the door from the time they first meet someone. I see it approaching in yet another person's relationship now and know when it hits, it's not going to be pretty.
But therein lies the problem. I also learned long ago that for me to say anything accomplishes absolutely nothing. All I can do is stand there and watch it happen, then offer a sympathetic ear after the fact.
That's not some psychic ability; it's just the capacity to read human nature. And yes, more often than I've wanted to admit, I could see a lot of the same when it came to my own relationships. I wanted to see something good ahead, even while at the back of my mind and deep inside I knew it was just a matter of time until everything blew up in my face.
Switching topics, I finally got some of MC's photos loaded over to this computer. I'll try to get them uploaded and online today, but since I'll be picking up WildRosie late tomorrow night from the airport, doubtful I'll get to post anything here before midweek.
Before - After
In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )