Saturday, Nov. 25, 2006
Ups and Downs
This has been in many ways an absolutely wonderful day; in some ways, though, it's been very discouraging.
As planned, MC and I drove over to Bisbee, mainly because we've been planning to go forever and knew it was kind of a now-or-never situation. We headed out early this morning and everything was fine, and while it was too crowded for words thanks to the combination of the post-holiday weekend and some kind of local festivities going on, we found a pretty decent parking place right away and got out to meander through the narrow streets.
MC's love for antiques came out in spades. He was in heaven. We stopped at several shops, and that was my first clue that there was a problem. Our first stop, he bounded up the stairs to see what they offered there, then encouraged me to go check it out, which I did.
By the time I got back downstairs a few minutes later, I knew I was in trouble. I felt a little like somebody ran over me with a steamroller. My energy was gone - pouf! - just like that.
I told MC it was just that my knee hurt, so I begged off stairs from that point forward. Trouble was, just standing up, just walking the rough equivalent of about four city blocks, I was getting more and more drained. By lunchtime I was praying we'd find somewhere I could sit down, and we lucked out. While most of town was bursting at the seams, we walked into the tiniest pizza place I've ever seen, where we were the sole patrons. There was one person behind the counter and exactly one table in the dining area.
We enjoyed a fairly leisurely lunch, and I thought I'd caught my breath adequately to keep going.
Wrong again, Dann-o.
We only made one more stop, thank God; a little rock shop that was going out of business and had some killer deals. We picked up some rare specimens for a song and then meandered back to the truck, by which time I was praying I'd make it all the way on my own two feet.
MC asked if I wanted to come straight home, but we'd already discussed making a stop on the way back so he could search for rocks. (Long story - we drove halfway to Neptune looking for something for my work yesterday. We didn't find the place we were originally seeking, but we found some likely rock-hounding sites.) He has to be inside virtually all week, so I wasn't about to tell him that no, I really wasn't up to driving just a couple of miles off the main road.
The short drive along a very rough dirt road went okay; I got out and gave a halfhearted effort at hunting for unusual rocks, but sent up a silent prayer of thanks when MC announced he wasn't finding anything and we might as well go.
A few silent prayers later we finally pulled into the parking place at WildRosie's place and I did finally concede that dinner was going to be whatever MC could fix for himself (given all the stuff in the fridges here, that's definitely not a hardship.) I was going to lie down, but he reminded me that I've got to call a prospective web client tonight.
Most of the time he was in the kitchen fixing himself something to eat, I was doubled over.
Given that I don't have insurance, visiting the doctor's office isn't an option. Besides which, I know the whole doctor routine. They listen to my chest and send me packing without checking anything else, telling me in so many words that I'm full of shit and not to bother them again.
So I have to keep plugging along and just do what I can, when I can, and hope for the best.
I only have another week of working in Hades, at least. Of course then the stress shifts to money worries, so it's kind of a Catch-22. Or maybe a Catch-44 would work better. Whatever. I am seriously screwed if I can't work, and so are other people here. Ergo, I keep packing my happy butt in somewhere that provides me with a paycheck. Unfortunately after today, I'm not sure how long that's going to last...
Before - After
In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )