Radiogurl a la Carte

Tuesday, Mar. 13, 2007
Commuter Blue And Beige

Second full day of the new job under my belt. I'm trying to be optimistic, while tempering it with a dose of skepticism. I know now it's possible to make some darned good money at this job, provided it doesn't kill me.

That's the freaky part, though. I've been through all of the maze of this building and have NOT seen the kind of hollow-eyed zombies that walked the halls of All Terror & Tragedy. The atmosphere is all the things that the aforementioned company pretended to be. Then again, when I started at Acidic Troglodytes & Tea-biscuits, it wasn't the dungeon it was by the time I left. I guess that's why I am hedging my bets here.

But of course while on site, I'm Ms. Gung-ho Professional III, the person who conveys an outward zen and cool under fire.

In other words, I'm the kind of bullshitter that normally does pretty well in a job like this, so long as my health holds out.

And it's not like it's optional to do well. I have no choice but to stick with it, if it pays fairly well. I am genuinely hoping that what we've observed is a fair cross-sample of what you normally encounter. Because if it is, I'm sooooo in like Flint. I can absolutely do this. I can do this with my eyes closed, in my sleep. (Which, considering I'll be arriving at 5am, is a good thing.)

The funniest part is that this is an old business, and one that my mom adored. I probably know more about their overall product line than half the people working there. We couldn't ever afford to shop there when I was a kid, except maybe once a year for a coat or shoes. (And even that was before the advent of Wally World and its predecessor.)

Makes me look pretty good that I can answer a lot of questions about a lot of their appliance and electronics line even before I'm trained on them. I can't afford their clothing, but once MC starts work, I will be able to get something new now and again, I'm pretty sure.

Maybe that's what is so tiresome. I never in my life went to the store and bought a new dress until I was old enough to work and pay for it myself. That's as in, my parents never bought me anything like that. I was the oldest child, yet still wore hand-me-downs. Most of the time they didn't fit, and were wholly age-inappropriate. I guess it probably did me a favor in one way; once I got old enough to make or buy my own things, I had a sense of style that let me pass for much older than I really was.

On the flipside of that, when I was twelve years old I was hit on by men in their twenties who thought I was eighteen or older. When I was seventeen, my parents were trying to marry me off to a man in his thirties. He was a nice enough man, I suppose, but most assuredly not my type. Which is really awful taste on my part, since he was an architect and probably now a very rich man.

I alternately wish I'd met MC back then, and find myself thinking it's a good thing I didn't. I probably would have overlooked him and/or taken him for granted. Of course he was a child of older parents. His mother and father died in the 1980's, when MC was in his early thirties. He actually took care of his father after his mother died.

I gathered there wasn't a lot of space in his life to be married. He was probably very much a mama's boy, so again, probably better that we didn't meet until now. For what it's worth, mama's boys are supposed to be best to their wives, provided the wife can hold her own next to mama. Since his mother was already gone when I met him, I had no competition in that regard.

That sounds so cold, and I didn't mean it that way. I am immensely grateful to have found a man who is generous, kind, and gentle without being downright mousy. He treats me like a queen and I am fully well aware of how truly fortunate I am.

Not entirely sure why I'm so melancholy tonight. Just a phase, I'm sure. I haven't had a seriously depressed swing in a while and as long as I recognize and know it won't last, I'll be fine.

Just for shits & giggles, this is one of the pages with Tucson-area rent-to-own properties. Obviously none of those figures are in our range right now but eventually, maybe.

Guess I should turn in tonight. Tomorrow's going to be another looooong day, I've got a feeling. Traveling 45 minutes one-way is going to get old real fast, I can tell already. Though the early morning commute should shave off a lot of that, too, thank God.

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )