Radiogurl a la Carte

2004-02-08
God Help The Children

This is an augmented entry - I was going to edit what I wrote but since at least one person had already read and posted a note with regard to what I wrote, I decided it was just as well to add a sort of post-script.

The past couple of days I've been even more sensitve than usual to the sort of horror stories that Dangerspouse mentioned, because I've been dealing with one of my own.

My daughter, the one Dangerspouse just calls 00 because she's so tiny that's her clothing size? She has a three-year-old son, a little boy whose daddy is a young man who's 6'4" and recently belched out of our nation's military. Said daddy's first action upon coming home was to boot her out of the house and begin threatening her.

I knew that she'd attempted suicide at least twice and had a pretty good idea that he was hitting her, even though she denied it. The denial is, sadly, a part of the vicious circle I know from my own history. Been there, done that. I knew it but couldn't prove it. What I did know was that he was using her child as a blackmail tool. As in, refusing to let her see the baby at all, telling her she was too unstable, an unfit mother, and a whole litany of other crap. He told her that just seeing her child was hurting the baby.

Unfortunately, given that she'd dealt with this crap for five years, she believed it.

However, for a couple of weeks I had a visitor here from Quebec, a young man just slightly older than my daughter. The baby's dad brought the baby to a friend's house to see mommy, then daddy proceeded to verbally assault her in the worst way.

And my friend didn't even tell me until yesterday because he was too stunned to believe what he saw. Daddy also hit my daughter, the one well less than half his size, so hard that it lifted her a full foot off the ground.

And the sonofabitch still lies with a straight face and says he never hit her.

My daughter is terrified he'll keep his promise to take the child and disappear. He already threw her out into the streets and threw out everything she owned. She managed to get her clothes and virtually nothing else, even though most of the furniture in his apartment, and the washer and dryer there, are things I bought and paid for.

At this point the police aren't involved but it's not going to stay that way. My daughter IS a mess after the years of physical and psychological abuse. She doesn't trust her own perceptions. He's convinced her that she's hallucinating everything and that she's genuinely harmful to her child.

I am dealing first with trying to help her, but then I'm going after one so-called daddy, and my claws will be out like nobody's ever seen before. God help him, because when I get done with him, nobody else will.

This is the day's second entry - the first is here.

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )