Radiogurl a la Carte

Monday, Oct. 25, 2004
Javalina Dreams

Argh... Diaryland ate my entry. Or more accurately, Mozilla did. For some reason when I hit netscape.com to read the headlines, it locks up one part of the window and ends up crashing my browser.

I am guessing I wasn't meant to whine about a betrayal of trust, and probably just as well. The damage is done and over with; and to lift (and paraphrase) a line from a song, "My life will go on and on."

For the folks who generously noted suggestions and offers about how to get a copy of The DaVinci Code, there is no Target store here in town - but someone from here on Diaryland went out and bought me a copy. That thud about 10PM-ish last night (Pacific time) was the sound of my jaw hitting the floor. I also felt about two inches high before it was all said and done, because my gut reaction before I knew what was going on was for my panic mode to kick in, which in turn activated my highest level of stupidity. Only AFTER making a complete fool of myself did I look up the name of the orthopedic surgeon who's extracted my food from my mouth so many times in my life. The hypothetical doctor doesn't even ask any more, just schedules me in and shakes his head. He's got his work cut out for him this time.

Just when I think I can't be surprised any more, I am. I am warmed and surprised by the overwhelming expressions of generousity online, from people who are essentially complete strangers.

Then again, we are strangers who read what's happening in each other's lives, and strangers who share some of our most private thoughts. It's ironic that in anonymity, we engender a sort of over-the-top intimacy. It's amazing what words can do, even without adding the other senses. We are people who thrive on communication, but for the things that matter most, we don't dare express ourselves in person, to the people who might laugh at us. Yet by nature we have to tell someone, so we say what we must through other avenues, baring our souls to the masses behind a mask of pages or, more recently, on the electronic page.

It's almost sad that if we passed on the street, most of us wouldn't know the other. I am enriched for the glimpses into each of your lives. I am fascinated by the differences and appalled by the injustices. You send me into hysterics with your flights of humor and into awestruck silence with the stark beauty of your respective souls. I wish I could make a list of the things that are created in just this one fairly small neighborhood on the World-Wide Web.

Our dreams and emotions are such astoundingly powerful things when we're not afraid to express them.

Random change of topic. There are javelinas in my yard. Not right this second, far as I know, but most nights.

They're a sort of wild peccary that grows around here. I knew I'd heard rustling and noises outside but it wasn't "people" noises so I pretty much ignored them. I know there are rabbits and dogs and coyotes here. I forgot about the javelinas. Hopefully one of these nights I'll be able to get some photos. They're some strange looking creatures. But long as they don't tip over my garbage cans, more power to them. If they do, I'm gonna go out the next night and make 'em pick up their mess, I swear.

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )