Radiogurl a la Carte

2004-03-29
Tee'd for Two

RANT ALERT! RANT ALERT! This one's even more extreme than usual. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Remember the worries of Dangerspouse a few days ago with his on-air expression of pig's ears? And his introduction on Radio 101?

Well I didn't let 'er rip on the air but Boss is currently pissed at me and I could be unemployed by this time tomorrow. Our wonderful automation system crashed yet again - while he was in Phoenix - and I was supposed to be listening.

Mind you, I did watch this POS software - I have us set up on a VPN and had it up on my desktop so I could keep an eye on it. Trouble is when it crashes the only way to get back on the air is to reboot - which kicks me off the network. I had the process underway but not fast enough, of course. And I wasn't driving yet, so therefore I wasn't fast enough there either.

I was hired to be news director, with the understanding I'd be doing MINOR computer stuff. From there it's become full-time news director AND full-time webmistress AND full-time IT person. I even tracked us down an IT person who's an ACTUAL IT person - but boss is too cheap to pay a human salary, and even bitched because it cost him a whopping $450 to get said IT to totally rebuild our network INCLUDING building a custom unix router from the ground up. We're talking two full days, working dawn til dusk, and my boss paid $450 and complained about it.

Yes, it was my fault we had dead air. It was NOT my fault that boss has cheaped his way through everything including equipment and software, pays sub-human wages (you'd choke if I told you how little) and never pays overtime no matter how many hours you work, offers no benefits, and won't hire enough people to cover even the most basic needs ofthe business.

If I'm not fired already, I will take photos of the studio. Dangerspouse, if these reminds you of YOUR history I'll be surprised - I've worked at some hole-in-the-wall stations but never another comparable to this one. And since it's a sole proprietorship, when Boss (who's pushing 70) kicks off, I'm unemployed.

The only good thing about this week has been that I made a publishing connection. If I can sell a couple of short stories I'm packing my butt up and getting out of this toxic place. I like the specific house but not the city, which is like a third-world Country before the US comes through and rebuilds it.

So in the long run, while I'm currently in rant mode, I know this is for the best. I'm the kind of person who needs a collosal kick in the keister to evict me from my complacency. Whether or not I'm literally fired, I know it's time for me to leave. I've known it for a while now; but I am so exhausted, physically and emotionally, that I wasn't willing to do so, even if I know it's for something better.

I knew when I had to say no to buying a discount-factory pair of shoes to replace a pair that's falling apart. I'm too old to have to worry about whether I should sell my TV to make up a shortfall on my (ridiculously cheap) rent/house payment.

I knew when I couldn't afford to go to the doctor for even something simple until it became something drastic. (Not to mention the fact that there are no local physicians that will accept a new patient, no matter what.)

I knew when I got called again at midnight last night to fix yet another problem, and wasted most of today dealing with little crap and accomplished precious little. All day Boss standing over me with a whip and a chair, demanding a new web page for sponsor XYZ, attendance at court proceedings for news (but no time to write story), while I also handled a sales order and tried to resolve a problem with Traffic Girl's software.

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )