Thursday, Aug. 12, 2004
Making Wishes and Shopping
Want to be well and thoroughly charmed? Of all of the diaries I've read, fairygodmum's is the most unique. She professes to grant wishes and says that it is her talent to do so.
I don't know whether or not she can grant wishes. I do know, however, that a very sweet and generous personality peeks from her writing. She offers to help others, while she herself has needs that are unmet. I'd ask everyone to go and wish for HER to get the job she needs, the ideal job to suit her personality and ability. From the sounds of it, she needs that karmic support right now.
Didn't accomplish much last night in the way of packing. Did buy a computer chair. I'd been using a very old and ugly (and uncomfortable) side chair for over a year, after my last actual desk chair died. I had to get black leather, which I didn't like for looks, but it's vastly more comfortable. I'm pretty short - about 5'3" - and it feels heavenly to be able to adjust the height to actually suit my size. No more sore back and shoulders!
Also bought a blouse. I discovered that while it's generally fine to buy inexpensive stuff now because of the transitional weight (have lost more, now working on 70lb total loss), I still have to occasionally meet with people in somewhat more formal surroundings. And Wally World doesn't offer much that works for that. Sadder still, there's not a heck of a lot of places here besides Wally World to buy clothes. I literally bought a maternity top because it was the only thing that didn't look cheap and tacky. I had to do some minor sewing to adjust it somewhat, but overall I'm fine with the result. The tummy was the big factor in what fit and what didn't, with regard to pants and skirts. I even tried on a dress that was a size 12-14. I could wear it except for the tummy area. It's been years and years since I could even get something on in that size range!
The experience did convince me that I need to actually use that bicycling machine on my front porch. Since I have no living room furniture and will not be buying any, I think I am going to clean the contraption up, top to bottom, bring it inside, and plunk it in front of the television. At night, I will make it a point to turn on HGTV or the Discovery Channel (the only two channels I can bring myself to watch any more) and ride for an hour. And what better way to time myself???
I am going shopping this weekend with my sis though - and going to have to buy some more suitable clothing. I'll be driving to the Phoenix area, where I'll have considerably more choices. Boss is letting me borrow his new vehicle to do so. I know we'll hit the Dress Barn - love their casual business attire and they're pretty reasonable on pricing, especially for the quality. They also are big on comfort, which is not the case with a lot of more expensive places. I just wish they offered the ability to order online - their sizes are consistent so I know I could order something and it would actually fit.
Couldn't sleep again last night despite the glass of wine. I fell asleep fine but woke just before 4am. I know part of the reason is that I didn't go to bed as early this time, thanks to working late and then going to the store. If I hit the sack around 9-ish I'm good but if I wait until later it doesn't work. Unfortunately last night I didn't get home until too late to go to bed at 9. Pooh. Oh well, at least I am learning what works for me and what doesn't. The regularity of schedule makes a significant difference.
Also realized that the earlier schedule coincides with living further east. Not sure how to attribute that. Subconscious yearning to be elsewhere? Metaphysical or other intervention to prepare me? Pure coincidence?
I am growing more excited at the prospect of a move. Sane people would dread the process. They'd question the whole idea of picking up and moving, more or less sight-unseen, to another part of the country. I know that it comes attached to significant risks, but I am convinced that this is something I have to do. I have passed on opportunities in the past, for any number of reasons. I can't pass on this one.
Before - After
In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )