Wednesday, Sept. 15, 2004
Yin And Yang And No Romance
I have officially survived until Wednesday; no small feat this week!
The workday was pretty boring even though we broke a significant news story. It was technically out of date, but tied in with something current and it was the kind of tabloid pseudo-news that my boss eats for breakfast. I don't shy away from something like that if it's legit (and this one is, at least insomuch that the lawsuit is on record in federal court.) I just get a lot more excited when I break something like that and it's CURRENT, and something that has a more definitive resolution in the works. This was a lawsuit filed and later dismissed on a technicality.
The pleading raises enough questions that even the circumstances of dismissal are suspicious, but there are also significant questions of legitimacy. Accusations, even when filed in court, do not automatically equal truth. I can report that such-and-such was alleged. However, it's a case that would be extremely difficult to prove when the plaintiff now lives in another state and the alleged actions occurred several years ago.
On a different note, my friend from the Valley may end up becoming my roommate, if she can find work up here. She has really lost her sense of direction while living and working in the metropolitan cesspool. I have to admit, while I would like to live elsewhere, I would most assuredly rather not live in Phoenix and vicinity. The pollution is among the worst in the nation, the heat is harder to survive every year, and this state's employment laws are straight from the dark ages.
I am somewhat ambivalent at the prospect of a roommate. While I like said friend and we share a lot of interests, I have really gotten spoiled to having the place to myself. If I want to walk around in my underwear, I do. If I want to entertain a man in my home, I can dream about it to my heart's content. I can come and go as I need to for my job, don't have to worry about being quiet when I'm puttering around the house, etc.
The flip side to that is that I have to pay a traffic ticket, the deductible on the accident, and buy a vehicle. I'm not so stupid that I don't recognize I realistically need a roommate to help share the bills so I can wipe out those extra expenses asap. I know that she'll do her part, not worried about being stuck with the bills indefinitely. That's my children's specialty.
Nothing is written in stone, of course. She might well be getting a job in the Valley in a little while. Either way, I'm not going to stress about it.
Tall Guy is supposed to be back at the studios on Friday. He couldn't fix 00's computer last night, after all. He does, however, think he found the problem. It will simply entail taking the thing apart. It's a DAT backup drive, and the DAT tape is jammed. I wish him luck. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes if something goes down the drain, considering what was paid for this durned thing and the fact it's never worked at all. Heaven help him if it is busted and irreparable and his tinkering voids the warranty.
The romantic question is on hold for the moment. I'm still interested, but not getting the flirting or anything now so I'm beginning to think I was painting too much into what I observed before. With that in mind, I'm really glad I didn't try to pursue something that wasn't there. It could be that there's something else going on in Tall Guy's life that's impacting his reactions to the world in general, of course. If so, fine - but from here I'm not doing or saying anything until I get something unmistakeable.
I much prefer no romance at all to another disaster. When Shakespeare said 'tis better to have loved and lost, I don't think he was discussing repeat performances, nor the caliber of the average shmoe any more. Women never expect perfection, but we do have some expectations. When not one of those expectations are met, over and over again, you start wondering why you bother at all.
Now if I can just back out gracefully and he doesn't become one of those guys who exist strictly for the challenge. They're the ones who typically pursue me. They're the sort who pull out all the stops and refuse to let up until they've convinced me I'm wrong about them, they really do care. And then, once they have me, the game is over and they're ready to move on. It's all about the chase and zero substance.
No more of that, thank you.
My life remains quite full without a significant other, anyway, so this is probably for the best.
Before - After
In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )