Radiogurl a la Carte

Friday, Jan. 14, 2005
Faith Hope And Calculations

For hcatty, who told me to buy the $65K house - much as I'd love to do that, I can't afford a $65K house. I actually did one of those mortgage calculator things based both on what I make now and what I will make to start if I get the job with the university. There's so little difference in the figures that it was kind of irrelevant to calculate twice. Even with no debt and low interest, the most I can qualify for in a house is something like $40K, so that place is simply out of my range.

So the $25K place, can do. The $65K place is a pipe dream. Besides, as I pointed out, the fairy tale house has over 3000sf, has four bedrooms I think. I'm a single grandmother who's moving to get away from her grown children. Why on earth would I need four bedrooms???

This is still a lot of house for one person, now that I look at it. It's only two bedrooms but has a separate dining room, living room, and family room, two bedrooms and one and a half baths, and a one-car garage. (Yeah, I know - kind of overkill with no car, but I would think I'd have a vehicle if I've gotten to the point of actually trying to buy a house.) That's a lot of house for just one person! Doesn't look like it's got a dishwasher nor a separate laundry room, but it DOES have central AC. I remember summers growing up in the midwest. The combination of temperatures and humidity make sleeping unbearable some nights and AC would be a godsend! And I like the fact that it's a ranch style. I've owned a condo with stairs before, where the only bathroom was upstairs. NEVER again.

Then there's another factor - when I went back tonight to see if I could get more information about the cottage, it was no longer on the site, so looks like somebody beat me to it. (Maybe somebody from California who was tired of the flooding, haha!) So that definitely took care of THAT!

Of course all of this is predicated on whether or not I get a job in Indy, without which all of the looking at houses is pretty much irrelevant. And my friend that lives there said she'll gladly drive a circuit and look at some of the places I picked out. I'm not at all familiar with the community. Those could be nice looking places that are plunked right in the middle of the ghetto, for all I know.

While I am not planning to take my kids with me, though, I did look at a schools report for the area. In all but one district the average class size is below 20 kids - always a good indication - and more than half of high school seniors take SAT's, with 75% planning to attend a 4-year college, another 12-15% planning to attend junior college. I like those odds. Most of the time the education factor is a good reflection of the community as a whole.

And again, full circle, back to the point that without a job there, the whole thing's moot. And in reality assuming I get there at all, I'll need to be on the job for at least several months before I can give any serious thought to buying a home, unless I am willing to go for a $10,000 junker and build as I go.

I am still waiting to hear from the city manager to see if he'll be okay with my using him as a professional job reference. I called his office twice today, but when he called back, Boss had just walked in the door and I couldn't ask about the reference, darn it. I ended up emailing his secretary and asking her to ask him, which was most assuredly NOT what I really wanted to do. Oh well, best-laid plans and all that jazz.

I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason, that if I'm delayed it's because either 1) the timing will be better or 2) an even better job will open up or 3) I'll finally hear from the @#$%&% magazine and they'll pay me for the story I submitted nearly six months ago, so I can get a car or hire a moving van. (I've stopped looking for that, believe me. I sent a follow up letter on December 15 and never heard back from them.)

I know - some folks don't believe things work out. And I don't deny that there's an inherent randomness to tragedies, such as the people who died in the landslides in California and those who died in the tsunami. But I still believe that in general, there is a purpose for everything that happens, for every person that you encounter, for every difficulty that's thrown your way.

Maybe I believe that because if I didn't cling to that miniscule fragment of faith, I'd have died long ago.

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )