Radiogurl a la Carte

Friday, Mar. 04, 2005
The Whole Dam Story

Some days life takes a Little Dutch Boy turn, with some added twists. Today was definitely one of those days. I'm sitting here with my finger in the proverbial dam and trying to calculate how long I can hold my breath when it breaks.

Boss is at the local emergency room as I type. I dropped him off there a short while ago, asked if he wanted me to wait. He said no, just sent me back here to deal with the business. I already had a pretty good idea that this was where things would end up tonight, though beyond the immediate is still questionable.

He told me today where to find his will and his self-recorded eulogy ("I recorded it while I could still talk because nobody else can speak for me") and how to reach his family should his condition continue to deteriorate. We had already discussed details associated with the business, at least in the short-term. He was bad tonight, though, by far the worst I've seen him. He's been unable to swallow even water for at least a day or two. With that in mind we knew he had to get into a medical situation where they could get him re-hydrated... But that alone isn't a solution or a cure, merely a temporary measure of relief.

I'll be forwarding the studio phones to my home telephone tonight, and I already knew I'd have to come in tomorrow to work. If Boss is out of commission long-term or permanently, I need to get everything up to date that I can, including our FCC reports and our billing. Whatever else happens, this station will likely stay on the air, even if it's only long enough to sell it. A station gone black, in a market as small as this one, simply won't sell. However, I'm not going to commit to running the thing forever, either. I will stay on if asked, for up to a year, but only on my terms. And one of those terms is that I MUST have a reliable car.

At the opposite end of my personal spectrum, my forum is blossoming and I'm very happy with the early responses it's drawn. I've had three people who told me that it opened the door for them to voice things they'd never said before. That alone makes it worthwhile. I'm encouraged by some of the responses I've gotten, from friends and also from people I'd have considered only acquaintances. I'm also happy to see at least one crossover from Diaryland. It's an interesting mesh, because it was on a similar forum where I first heard of Diaryland, from Dangerspouse.

Forums can be tricky business: some of them are extremely volatile and predatory, where the members are poised to go for the juglar just because they can. Some are idle chitchat and endless jokes (and frankly bore me to tears.) It doesn't have to be that way. The forum's top management always drives the tone of the discussions. If your head honcho is ascerbic, the tone will likely be ascerbic. If he or she is a hothead -- watch out! If that person (or team) is thoughtful and open to new ideas, that will be the general way that the forum goes. It isn't a perfect science and there will always be trolls arriving to try and create trouble, but it all comes down to striking a balance between pablum and complete anarchy. I prefer a level I like to call "controlled pandemonium." It's all a matter of knowing what it takes to draw people in and what it takes to piss them off!

Well... time to call it a day and head home. Here's hoping that the phones forward without a hitch. Some days they don't want to cooperate!!!

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )