Radiogurl a la Carte

Monday, Mar. 07, 2005
Humpty Dumpty

And the saga continues...

Saturday I worked about ten hours, a great deal of which was devoted to undoing a bunch of damage that Boss had created. In a course of very little time he screwed up our entire format, undoing something that had taken me nearly a week to complete. I walked in and asked him to stop so I could fix the problem, he said okay, and I went back in to try and resolve it. I checked; he hadn't messed with the backup machine so I deleted the files from the server and commenced transferring a copy from the backup machine.

Almost immediately, I got an error message saying that file XYZ didn't exist. I tried again, got the same error message again. Finally I realized that Boss was messing with the files in the backup machine now, after telling me he'd quit. I asked him about it and his response was, "Well, I quit working in the server like you said." True, but he didn't grasp that doing precisely the same thing on the other machine wasn't going to suddenly make it right.

Before everything was said and done, I had to replace about 300 files, trying to focus first on what was playing on the air at the time.

Things got worse.

At 7:00am yesterday, Boss phoned. I'd already worked out a system with him, since he can't talk; if I get a call from him on the weekend now I just drive over immediately. (I have caller ID so I know who's phoning.) I ended up driving him to the Mayo Clinic E.R. in Phoenix and spent virtually all day there. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) he signed papers with the hospital designating that I was allowed to have his medical information and act as his advocate. By this point it had been at least three full days since he'd been able to drink or eat anything and I think it was nearer four.

Several hours later one of the nurses came out and told me they were going to admit him for 24-hour observation. They asked if I wanted to stay or no; I said it was up to him. He (predictably) told me no, to head on back here and handle the studio stuff. When I said something about picking him up the next day (today) he told me, "I won't be coming back." Very final, very calm. His voice was by that point at least back to a hoarse whisper; understandable if not well.

Only when I walked through the door home a couple of hours later (and fortunately I came home first instead of going to the studio, which I had considered) I had a message waiting for me saying that Mayo decided not to admit him after all and I needed to come pick him up. It's a two-hour drive one way. You do the math.

The nurses also told me that they could find no mechanical reason for Boss's problem and that it must be psychosomatic, probably anxiety-related.

I won't go through all of the gory details. Suffice to say, nothing is resolved except that Boss is back in the local E.R. tonight. We all know that this is at best a temporary fix. While you can live much longer without food than you can without water, sooner or later you have to have that, too. And there's the fact that I think the psychosomatic angle, while it got him out of the hospital, is dead wrong. If his only symptom was the inability to swallow, maybe; but unfortunately it's much, much more than that, and it's been progressive. Anyone who works around him daily can vouch for that.

This has dumped absolutely everything on my shoulders. I am responsible for Boss's health and for running the station, and for keeping him from doing any more damage to it. At this point, I don't really have the legal authority for the latter, and I don't like what's tantamount to mutiny, but I can't keep cleaning up behind him indefinitely without sacrificing full integrity of the station.

I talked tonight to 00 - she miscarried over the weekend, which even she agreed is probably better, all things considered. She said she isn't hurting and was basically just told to take it easy for a few days, but otherwise is fine. Since it was so early into the picture, she's not upset. In her reality it really wasn't a 'baby' yet, which is probably an accurate assessment. She volunteered that if Boss isn't there giving her nonstop and undeserved hell all the time, she will gladly come back to help at the station. Lord knows we could use the help, and she could use the money.

In the meantime, I'm going to attempt a couple of hours' nap, then get up and call the city manager for a report on tonight's council meeting, and when Boss calls me in a little while longer I'll go pick him up from the (local) hospital again.

If anyone finds my sanity, kindly hold onto it for a while, until this is all over one way or another. If I had any trace of my sanity about now I'd probably break down.

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )