Radiogurl a la Carte

Tuesday, Mar. 08, 2005

Thanks for the notes to the folks who have commented - and for patience for the friends whose diaries I haven't had time to read yet.

I talked this morning to the local hospital and they confirmed what I'd known for a long time. Boss's physician diagnosed thyroid cancer a long time ago and apparently he's in the final stages. Unfortunately Boss's decision to keep seeking second opinions, ad nauseam, accomplished nothing except to prevent him from obtaining any appropriate treatment while there was still time.

He's alternately resigned and deeply entrenched in denial, despite the unavoidable evidence of his impending mortality. He still denies having cancer. I don't know if that's legitimately what one doctor told him or if he's simply blocked it out of his mind. I'm doing what I can, and we've got another old friend (his friend, not mine) returning to help at the station. I only hope said friend is a help and not a hindrance. I spoke to that individual briefly on the phone today and he was immediately dismissive of me. I don't have the time or patience to cater to some dipstick's chronic sexism. I've put up with a lot of crap from Boss, but at least he never made light of my abilities or pretended that my gender made me less valuable.

I guess I've been lucky that way overall; most people I've encountered have learned quickly that my being female doesn't insulate them from reporting nor allow them to dismiss me as a journalist. If they try, it invariably comes back to bite them in the butt.

I carry a plethora of insecurities, but my work isn't one of them, as you can see, haha!

The flipside of the coin again... the forum. I know a lot of folks here on Diaryland dislike forums and that's fine with me; but I'm tickled pink with the way it's taking off. We had a paranormal researcher hit the site this morning and he has promised to return, saying he wants to chat further. While I started things off with just friends I knew shared my curiosity about things that go bump in the night (so to speak,) it's already expanded well beyond that and I couldn't be more pleased.

One of my friends recounted a phone call she received shortly after her mother died - a phone call from her mother. And that's just one example.

There are a variety of thoughts presented, including one rather abrasive individual. He arrived and began immediately to try and ruffle feathers - his own words, by the way. I stepped in right away and pointed out that he's more than welcome to express differing opinions and points of view, but he has to do so in a respectful manner. So far his responses to me have mellowed, but if he messes with me I have the ability to either lock him out or set him on moderation, so I have to approve everything he posts. While I don't like censorship on principle, I also won't permit my members to verbally abused.

But he opened a couple of interesting points. He said that the other members were responding from feelings rather than rationale, and he was correct.

There are a couple of significant reasons for that. One, the forum itself is centered heavily around intangible phenomenon, including feelings and intuition. And two, most of the forum membership (though not all) is female and we by nature function on feeling and intuition first. Men as a rule operate on "just the facts."

My proposition is that neither is right or wrong, and neither by itself can encompass the whole picture. It takes a blend, a balancing act between the two.

Yes, I am aware that the above references to male and female thinking are oversimplified generalizations. They're nonetheless valid, based both on my own observations and on the analyses of several researchers on human psyche. Men and women are wired different and that's a physiological fact. I personally say viva le difference! I happen to like men, despite and because of the differences. Neither side of the equation is less valid or less valuable; they're yin and yang, heads and tails, two halves of the same whole.

That doesn't mean I won't strive to understand both points of view. Aside from the fact that it's essential to my livelihood, there's the fact that my own femininity makes me excessively nosy. If I'm interested in someone, I want to know what makes them tick. I guess it's kind of like guys like to take apart a car to learn how it works. Women like to deconstruct, too, we just prefer to take apart people. We'll generally pass on the dissection, though, thank you very much. Unless you count Lorena Bobbitt, and I don't think her actions were an effort to understand her husband. Definitely not my style, either.

I've got to drive Boss back to Mayo Clinic tomorrow, so while I'm there I will check and see if I can pick up my computer from my son's house. I want my own 'puter back! I'll still have to replace the hard drive once I get it home, but I have a drive here and ready to install.

Well, guess I'd better get back to the grindstone. The next few weeks are probably going to be challenging at the very best.

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )