Radiogurl a la Carte

Tuesday, Aug. 15, 2006
Lullabye My Baby

It is currently ungodly o'clock in the morning and I, sad to say, am wide awake. I'd prefer NOT to be but what the hey.

There have been some veeerrry interesting developments in the past day or so. Am holding off about saying too much yet because nothing is written in stone (or even in sand.) But I talked to another radio station owner today, one for whom we've created a website. I didn't go into a lot of details other than to say I'd been asked to leave the station in Payson.

He was incredulous, asking who's going to run the place. When I explained that the owner decided not to hire a station manager to replace me (at least that's what he told me,) I think I felt the chin-induced earthquake from here.

After a couple of moments of that mouth-working silence that comes from stunned disbelief, the person at the other end of the phone just remarked, "I think it's safe to say you can expect a phone call very, very shortly."

To which I replied, "I won't be answering."

There was more to the conversation. Suffice to say there was a lot of laughter at both ends and some thoughts batted around on both sides, not the least of which was, "I would hope you'd think of us FIRST when you're looking for work..."

I told MC earlier that I was sorry to be dragging his butt into something of an uncertain situation - and he replied, "For better or for worse, baby. They're not just words for me." It's been really bizarre - I don't know if it's because MY mood is better since I was cut loose from Hell, or if some warp in this mess just gave him more of a sense of strength or what, but he's blown me away (in a good way) several times over the past few days.

I'm telling you, I've got a keeper this time around. I didn't know that men could actually SUPPORT you through a fiasco like this!

We stopped by Globe Saturday - I'd mentioned to MC that I could probably go back to work there, though I didn't really want to, for any number of reasons. MC met ex-boss and saw the conditions in the front office of the station and I think his exact words were, "No way in HELL you're going to work there!"

Now and then MC does have a way with words, hehehe.

Unless you work or have worked in this business (Dangerspouse will understand,) you wouldn't begin to grasp how truly bad some small-market stations really are. We aren't just talking about bad equipment and worse personnel - we're talking health-hazard conditions. We're talking places where you can be fired if you clean (not exaggerating.) We're talking places where every drawer you open, you open carefully so the roaches scatter AWAY from you. We're talking about scorpions scampering among your toes while you're typing away. (Fortunately in spite of that I've never been stung.) We're talking about rooms with boarded up windows that are never fixed many years later. We're talking no heat in winter and no AC in summer.

My kids will never go into radio as a living - that much at least I'm pretty sure of. They've seen, up close and personal, just how craptacular it can be.

Needless to say, I'm still very much alive and kicking, and while I can't say I'm not concerned at all, I'm definitely not coming unglued about the parting of the ways. I frankly wasn't doing a good job before I was given the boot. Nobody could've done a good job under the circumstances, and my attitude didn't do me any favors. I didn't want to be there and it showed.

There are a lot of other things in the works and some already in progress. I'll be hit-and-miss here for a while but wanted to thank everybody who posted kind words to me over the past few days. You kept me smiling through a crazy, roller-coaster weekend. Hopefully within a few days I'll be able to update with all good news.

One final thing that gave me the giggles - lifted from Art:

'What will your obituary say?' at

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )