Radiogurl a la Carte

Wednesday, Oct. 04, 2006

Sometimes I get the sense that I'm marrying a 10-year-old instead of a man three years older than I am. It's a good thing MC's got a full beard and balding pate or I'd have to back off on grounds of pedophelia.

No, that's not fair. He's not remotely immature, nothing like that. It's just that everything lately sets him off on fits of giggling. There's also this gesture - kind of hard to explain - as he stands there tugging on the bottom hem of his tee shirt and twisting it around while he puts on this big doofy grin.

Whatever. I'm not complaining because frankly, I'm right there with him in the doofus department, and wouldn't have it any other way.

On the job front, today I came thisclose to letting rip on my boss. I know it's a combination of his insecurities and so on, and that if I can be patient it'll probably work out in my favor... But for crying out loud, it's the first time I've EVER gotten a dressing-down for doing my job too well and/or not needing help.

They hired me for my experience. I've demonstrated that I know what I'm doing and I'm perfectly happy to turn in reports on what I've done, as if my work didn't speak for itself. But I'm sick of wasting several hours a day trying to do things that by rights should be my boss's job (work often done on MY time, I might add) and cleaning up my predecessor's messes, and then catching grief over it - not because of mistakes, but because it was done correctly and without my having to stop and ask a bazillion questions.

I'm waffling right now between starting a new job search (this time BEFORE I end up losing what I've got) or putting concerns in writing and handing them both to my boss and to my boss's boss. Neither alternative sounds terribly appealing, particularly when I'm this new on the job. But when I deal with this kind of crap and find out that I've had fifteen or so predecessors over a fairly short period of time, I know for a fact that either my boss is on his way out or I am.

Maybe my employment expectations are unrealistic. I mean, work doesn't scare me. One of my former bosses, when asked to give me a reference, said my worst trait is that I'm a workaholic. I've only left one other job (not counting Idiotland in Payson) that I didn't leave on good terms with the management, and that was Assholian Apes & Troubadors.

Is it too much to expect that I be given the autonomy to do my job right and a decent paycheck as part of the package?

Oh well.

WildRosie and Zeb were busy today. I walked through the front door tonight to see a naked room, or so it seemed. They'd gone through like tornadoes and cleaned and folded and put away and so on, so the place was sparkling and spotless. This part of the world is approaching its busy season, plus there were other reasons behind the cleaning frenzy. Rosie is an astonishing decorator, definitely moreso than me. I'm pretty spartan in my tastes, but there's something positively decadent about this place that carries you away.

We're still checking into broadband options. I didn't have any time to make phone calls today -- barely had time to scarf down a few bites for lunch -- but I think Rosie's going to ask around, too. I figure between us we'll find something viable as an option. I even talked about one possibility that's zero cash up front but costs $$ungodly per month. Basically the one-year contract builds in the up-front costs others charge, I guess.

We had a hellaciously late night last night - drove to Tucson after work since I miscalculated on my bank account and we had to make a deposit to cover it. I am allergic to bounced-check fees and figured the trip wasn't going to cost as much as even one of those.

Enough for tonight. MC wants to go for a walk and I've got a few hours' worth of work to do. Guess I'd better get to it or it will never get done.

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )