Radiogurl a la Carte

Monday, Oct. 09, 2006
Gold Buckles and Can-o-Cornelius

I know I'm online late night these days so for all the folks who asked for my password and I didn't get back to you until now, here's the link to the private entry.

Rosie, just ask me when I get home from work tomorrow because I'm too zoned to try and track down your email tonight. God knows who I'd send it to. If I missed you, EMAIL me. I am not going to bite. I don't have the energy.

If you are someone who knows me and I know who you are, it's perfectly kosher to email and ask me for the password. I just don't want the world at large to access that page because it's got pics and info that I promised wouldn't be posted outside a private area. My regular readers and partners in crime, it's not a problem.

I'm not sure how well I'm going to fare for the remainder of the week. I've had problems with my neck and upper back for a while, and it's becoming progressively worse. I'm nearly to the point now that I can't drive, at which point I am wholly screwed for ANY job. I have a really difficult time turning my head to look behind me when I'm driving now. I do what I call my gorilla-turn; I can't turn my neck more than about 15 degrees, if that, so have to turn my whole upper body. That's not the ideal way to do things when driving and lately it's getting hard even to do that.

Rosie pointed out what I've been trying to avoid for a while; that at this rate I'm not going to be able to keep pushing myself for much longer until I collapse.

She's right and I know it, but too many people depend on me for me to ease up. I don't have the luxury of saying, "I don't feel like going to work, think I'll stay home today." I don't have a second income, or at least not enough of one to pay even one bill. Our web work helps cover its own costs, basically, and very little more. MC is working on some better paying projects but we've also got some extra bills we're going to have to pay shortly. Once they're paid we will be adding another income source to the mix, but they've got to be cleared up first. And besides all that, it's still money that's "out there" and not in the bank.

Sorry to be so obscure, but the way I feel right now, if I tried to be specific I'd probably just screw it up anyway.

Rosie could've served me a can of cold corn tonight, can and all, mixed it with milk and buttered rum and chunks of moldy bread, told me it was chicken a la king, and I probably wouldn't have known the difference.

Poor Rosie apparently had an even worse day than I did. If y'all read, her give the poor woman a hug. She needs it worse than I do today.

Is it a full moon or what???

Oh, and I just noticed my gold membership expired. That's why my comments went ka-plooey. I'll re-up it when I get paid this week if at all possible. I'm too broke and too tired and too hurting to even think about it right now.

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )