Radiogurl a la Carte

Wednesday, Feb. 21, 2007
Too-Wong Fu and WTF

Never let it be said that I married MC without getting to know him. It was almost a year to the day after we met before we got married.

Still, sometimes life brings us little surprises.

In the course of job hunting today, my teeth scattered on the carpet from the impact of my jaw hitting the floor. For you see, my friends, I discovered someone is looking to hire a radio writer. And in a state that, as I understand it, actually exceeds third-world standards, no less. Even allowing for cost of living differential, it was a doable wage, and it was 1) writing and 2) radio, both of which fall smack in the middle of my experience, and the former in the realm of what I want to be when I grow up.

I was in the process of frantically pasting in my resume when MC came in from his daily walk. At that point, I pounced on him and told him about the job, which is in Connecticut. (Hey, I might be able to do coffee/tea with cosmicrayola someday if this were an actual job!)

Except at that moment my fevered typing came to a grinding halt, as MC effectively snarled, "Fuck THAT."

Now given his loathing for cold weather and the fact that it's now the end of February, I wasn't too surprised that he'd be against the idea. I was prepared to argue that it wasn't cold all year around, and to remind him that it didn't matter where we lived, since he'd be on the road for weeks at a time. (His words, by the way - he has told me more than once that we should live where I'll be comfortable, for that very reason.)

But before I could plead my case, he finished his thought with, "That's too damned close to Canada."

And therein lies the "WTF???" of this entry's title.

Now, I do know that he's been married twice previously, and his first wife lives in Canada. Plus, he was in Canada when he was injured badly enough that it cost him his job at the auction house. However, Connecticut isn't exactly a border state, for starters; and not all Canadians are his ex, for another. And accidents can happen anywhere to anyone, obviously.

After such a powerful reaction from MC, I blinked, actually rendered speechless for a moment. (I think that's happened about four times in the past thirty years.)

Once I recovered some semblance of wits about me, I decided to pursue the matter further, trying to figure out what the hell difference Canada made.

MC apparently expected that, and just started firing off all sorts of anticipatory random reasons/excuses, most of which came back to, "It's too cold." (I said anticipatory and you didn't, neener!)

Normally I would've been okay with that answer, but the whole Canada thing smacked of, "Oh there's a HELL of a lot more to it than that." So I'm sitting here now figuring I'm going to have to go digging through somebody's past and trying to find out what exactly went down in connection with Canada.

I should point out that I've seen MC's paperwork, including birth certificate and passport, along with a ton of other information. I've seen pictures of his parents before they died, and I know about his ex here in the US, and know he has an ex in Canada, someone who he barely talks about and I gather is an extremely sore point. I did a criminal background check before I ever met him in person. But this is a whole 'nother level of I-haven't-got-a-clue.

MC is easy-going to the point that he could easily be a doormat if I were so inclined, which made his extreme reaction all the more weird.

I have to assume that this involves his ex somehow. And we've talked about visiting Canada before, at which point he seemed perfectly fine with the idea. Yet somewhere out of the blue came this weird response. Go figure.

This time around I didn't pretend not to be pissed. I'm still the sole breadwinner until further notice and I'm sick as hell of sleepwalking through dead-end jobs where you're treated like crap. When something like this gets thrown out there like a bone to a dog, and you tell the dog she's supposed to leave it for the neighbor's cat, the end result ain't gonna be pretty.

No, I'm not giving up on my marriage at this point, and I obviously don't hate MC, nothing like that. But he's going to have some serious 'splaining to do tonight. If it's not forthcoming with something resembling a legitimate reason, methinks we might just have our first real fight since we've been together.

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )