Friday, Oct. 08, 2004
A Peace Of Anarchy
I really should be going to bed soon but I am in the mood to write something here, even if it's brief.
This has been an eternity week (lasted forever, don't you agree?) I thought Friday was perpetually out of sight, and that Friday night was just an unfocused figment of my imagination. Then this afternoon, I discovered the truth, to wit: that it's not Friday that's fantasy, it's a Friday night of peace that's fantasy.
Youngest Daughter moved in with me today. She and her boyfriend just got kicked out of yet another place to stay and ran completely out of friends to mooch... er, visit. I made it excruciatingly clear that this is only her, and it does not include her boyfriend. We'll see how long that lasts. I figure it'll be probably as long as her agreement to keep the house clean and so on. (Trust me on this, that ain't very long.) However, when she breaks either rule, she will be transplanted either to her grandparents' home or her boyfriend will have to find them a place, even if it's the homeless shelter.
Yeah, I'll beat myself up over it, worry about her, and do all the mom things. But if I don't do something to force her take responsibility for herself, she never will. I tried going through the courts when she was younger and dropped out of school. That had no impression. Hopefully the prospect of being homeless will get through to her.
I'm not holding my breath on that. I figure it will take actually being there to get through, if she learns at all.
On a much more positive note, Youngest Daughter and her loser boyfriend spent a few hours over at 00's place after I got home tonight, which was fine with me. Right after they left, my phone rang. (Talk about perfect timing!) It was a friend from Tucson and we talked until the kids came back. It was heavenly... There was no pressure, no work involved, talking about things that mattered to us and about things that didn't matter but we wanted to discuss, anyway. For example, we both want to become published fiction writers. She has a book that's been sitting in limbo for some twenty years, in a genre that is white-hot right now. I urged her to re-submit it for publication. She asked to read one of my 'just for me' projects.
She let me laugh and we discussed a mutual acquaintance, agreeing she's asked some things that are entirely out of line. We talked about getting together to do a girls' night out. I think I might even have figured out how, even if I can't buy a car in the immediate future. If it's not too outrageously expensive, I might rent a car for a day or two. Even if it cost me $200 or so, it would be worth every penny! Though hopefully it wouldn't run nearly that much, and if I get an economy car the gas shouldn't be too bad. I'm going to talk to the local rental service - but with the proviso that they MUST have the car the day I request it. When Friend from Quebec was here in January, they promised a car for a week's rental and it didn't arrive until two DAYS after they promised it. If that happened for me, I wouldn't rent at all, obviously, and would be disrupting a weekend for my friend in Tucson for nothing.
I've got to sign off for the night, but Friday night finally did arrive. And in spite of the anarchy at its beginning, I got my moment of peace, too.
Before - After
In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )