Friday, Jun. 04, 2004
Hallelujah! It's the weekend! I'm here messing up my newly-established going-to-bed-on-time schedule. Oh well, Monday will be back to the standard marathon.
My niece graduated tonight. Well my sort-of niece. She's my kids' cousin, their dad's brother's daughter. But since I'm not married to their dad any more, divorced him and he died, guess that technically removes me from the family tree. So I babysat my granddaughter, and she shared my low-carb spaghetti, interspersing bites with sounds of appreciation. She liked it much better than I did. Then again, I gave her almost none of the spaghetti noodles, which are just disgusting; and since the sauce was homemade, sans sugar or other carb no-no's, it was edible. Granddaughter did reasonably well for about half an hour but then she was tired and cranky. I gave her a sponge bath and let her cry herself to sleep - took about five minutes.
Started a new RPG with a friend, new site, didn't want to open up the can of worms we had going before. I don't need enemies generated by a stupid game. Conflict within the scope of the game is fine. But when it carries outside the game, it's too much. We all had very different ideas of what constituted freeform. No more - from that point forward I made it a personal rule not to take that kind of thing for granted.
Yes, I know I'm displaying my geekiness to the world but to be honest, I don't care. It's my alternative to drugs and alcohol. Might not be perfect but no DT's if and when I walk away, and it won't get me a criminal record or indavertently poison my grandchildren.
There's also the fact that the RPG format allows me to safely act out some extreme situations that would be unsafe if attempted in real life, predominantly those of the XXX variety. I don't have a social life, per se, precisely because I can't deal with the all-too-real complications of a relationship with a man, not right now, not with my job and my family situation. But in the context of a game, the heart isn't on the line and if you get extra kinky, you don't risk a trip to the hospital, with all the complications THAT can create. At the same time, you have the spontaneity of a partner - or partners - with their own views and actions to give you a new springboard with each exchange. And because it's in the context of a game, you can tell someone it's too much and if they don't listen, you can walk away without repercussions.
There are people who stick their noses up at the whole idea - but I think that the attraction is to those who were victims for a significant portion of their lives. In a world created and functioning solely on words, we all have an equal opportunity for power, each have the ultimate control over our own destiny. To someone who's felt like the control of their life was wrenched from them and never given back, it's a heady experience, and one that in some instances can help build the confidence that carries over into reality.
Besides which, it's just plain FUN.
Okay, putting away my alternate persona and returning to things more down to earth and important. Got the latest quiz from Wench77, who lifted it from someone else, etc. I'll let you do the tracing of the roots of this socially significant quiz:
You're Cool Kitten. You're super cool, cute and popular. You're sweet on the guys and totally into fashion. You are naturally a perfectionist and are very artistic.
What kind of cat are you?
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I'll refrain from the obvious jokes about women and cats, and let your own warped imagination take over for me. I'm being lazy tonight. Hey, it's Saturday and I'm entitled.
Before - After
In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )