Friday, Oct. 01, 2004
Muddle Muddle Toil and Pipeboy
I had the good fortune to receive a review from orionreviews here on Diaryland. The reviewer pointed out some changes that needed to be made (including archiving my older entries, which I've now done.)
One of the other things that he pointed out is that I didn't mention any more about 00's ex and her son, not for several months. There are a lot of reasons for that. Right now, 00 is trying to save the money to address custody issues associated with my grandson, so that she can at least have him come spend the night. She now views the SOB ex as a generous soul because once she signs custody papers giving them joint custody, he'll "allow" her to bring her son to her apartment for a day or two at a time.
I personally would rather perform an impromptu vasectomy on him (Oops, did those tin snips slip a bit? What a shame!) However, given that I also don't have the astronomical sum it would take to haul this loser to court, and given that 00's multiple attempted suicides would be used against her, my hands are effectively tied. At this point, 00 is doing better overall than I've seen her since before her father died, nearly ten years ago. She is at least seeing her child on a regular basis, and has acquired the emotional strength to tell her ex what he can do with himself for coming on to her. I still don't believe that she is strong enough to survive the kind of court battle it would take to have this man (and I use the term loosely) put away. It would do no good to put her through that and try to help her win back her child, only to lose her in the end.
There's one nice thing about her being with her current boyfriend. Whatever else is true about Pipeboy, I do believe he adores my daughter. If 00's ex tries hitting her again now, I'm not taking bets on what will happen to him, nor how long it will be until it happens.
So I am reluctantly supporting the joint custody agreement. I haven't seen my grandson in several months, and won't get the opportunity again until either I get a car or he comes up here for visitation with his mother.
It is by no means a perfect solution. Sometimes you have to take a deep breath and take one day at a time, and leave the vengeance to God. I've seen the Almighty operate, and He doesn't mess around. (If you view God as a female, insert your preferred gender references there.) You really do reap what you sow, sooner or later. And a lot of people forget that when you scatter a handful of seeds, you can get back a hundred times or more what you threw onto the ground.
For right now, we're working on what's best for 00 and what's best for her son. That's another point - much as 00 loves her little boy, she's really not financially able to keep him right now. A lot of that is due to the fact that she's supporting Pipeboy. Unfortunately we're having to use Pipeboy's truck for transportation to get 00 and myself back and forth to work, so we can't exactly complain now because he's still unemployed. Once I have another vehicle - ANY operable vehicle - he'll have his truck back and be looking for work. I hope.
00 is also paying child support - one month more than half of her income, which is a crock when you consider how much her ex makes, as compared to how much she makes. But I'm still glad she is concerned first with taking care of her child. She considers child support her responsibility when he's not living with her, and I do agree to that part. If she had the baby, her ex would be expected to pay, and rightly so. I do as much as I can to try and help her, and we muddle through.
I am supposed to have the entire weekend off. And to his credit, boss only phoned me once tonight. I think that may be a record for a Friday night! It was for a legitimate question, too, and pretty simple to handle. I pulled the VPN so I could see his screen, quarantined the virus that Norton found, and told him I will go into that computer tomorrow (from here at home) and handle some minor cleanup still left to do.
Before - After
In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )