Radiogurl a la Carte

Sunday, Jul. 18, 2004

Whew... It's been chaotic this weekend.

The studio has been one disaster after another. The Boss finally acknowledged it is time to trash our existing software (you heard my whoop of joy from there, didn't you?) and get something better. Now comes the tedious task of FINDING something better, which is itself no small thing. There aren't many alternatives out there and of those that are, it's tough to find a system that is both stable and flexible. I also have a distinct distrust of any so-called 'professional' software, because so much rides on it, while so little of it works as it's meant to work. It can, as I've described here, make or break the station.

On what I consider a positive note, Boss is constructing a polite, professional letter telling the judge to pound sand, that he gets nuttin' of the emails. We couldn't give 'em to him if we wanted to, mind you, but I'm glad for once Boss is handling it. I'm probably too pissed to be effective, in this case.

We have also had rain over the weekend, thank goodness. Not as much as we need, but definitely enough to help. It's cooled down and you can smell the moisture - which is a rare treat around here. Every so often I miss the midwest, miss the greenery, the change of seasons. Okay, I don't miss -80F wind chill, but I do miss seeing the leaves change. I suppose I could almost just say I miss seeing LEAVES. I haven't seen a maple tree close-up in years, nor oak. I would love to pick wild violets again. I'd like to see fireflies, squirrels, and the other fauna that would curl up and die in one summer's day here.

From the sounds of it, the rain might last a while. That will be both wonderful and horrible. Wonderful because we so desperately need the moisture. Horrible because the combination of fire and previous significant floods put lives at risk of more dangerous flash floods. The desert environment rarely includes long, slow rains. It is more typical to receive an inch or two of rain in a single hour (or less), falling on soil that's so dry and packed that it can't absorb anything. The runoff therefore pours over roads and yards and quite likely into homes, as well.

We are more or less prepared. There have been new rain gauges installed along significant waterways, and new flood warning systems. They're not infallible, but they are our best attempts to thwart damage due to the efforts of Mother Nature.

I accomplished precious little today, by what most people would count. I slept horribly late, woke up and jumped online for a while, then ran to the store to pick up a much-needed knee brace. I also got ambitious while there and picked up a couple of house plants. I have to stick with simple things - pothos is a favorite because it will thrive in spite of my worst efforts. If I can get a small indoor garden going, it will make my immediate environment much better, and makes it seem more like a home than a place where I sort of sleep and more often work.

The downside to the trip to the store was that I ran into my ex-father-in-law. The dad to the ex who's been stalking me for years. He wants a favor (as always.) He gave me some convoluted and fuzzy story about an inheritance and a lot of land and so on. I ignored about half of it and didn't listen to the other half, truth be told. He wants me to do some emailing on his behalf, which sounds pretty fishy to me. Then he proceeded to try and draw me into some church intrigue (he was removed from the local church rosters for reasons I won't describe here.) I politely shut him down on that one, informing him I am trying to stay out of it altogether.

But the worst is that when he meets up with me, he immediately gives me a hug. And I HATE that.

Don't get me wrong. In general I am perfectly happy with hugs, and even in favor of them. But not from someone I barely tolerate and someone who is a known child molestor. This man's hugs constitute a gross invasion of my personal space and an assumption of a relationship that simply doesn't exist. I also worry that now that he's shown up again AND KNOWS EXACTLY WHERE I LIVE, I'll hear again from his son and have to carry through with my threats to turn him that son in to the police.

Though that might work out just fine, too. I know I need to move away from here, but I've got a history of procrastination in the worst way. I don't like stepping into the unknown, and that's what moving entails this time. Unknown does not mean bad, and in fact it's a necessity of life if I'm ever going to pull out of my current funk. So if this idiot shows up again, it might be enough to finaly nudge me out of here for good. Okay, so more a 2x4 between the eyes than a nudge, but whatever it takes.

Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?

And no worries, Dangerspouse. I hadn't planned to run away to Mexico with you. Aside from the whole married thing - which is a line I won't ever cross - and the fact that at any given moment I'm at best ambivalent about getting into anything that resembles a relationship, I already live in third-world conditions and would prefer to get away from them. But thanks for the offer just the same.

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )