Radiogurl a la Carte

Saturday, Oct. 16, 2004
Do You Know The Way To Sanity

Argh... I forgot one of the ladies from the church wanted me there to practice with her today. (Music - I'm the church pianist. Don't let that fool you. I can read music, and can write it, but by no stretch of the imagination would anyone consider me a real musician.)

I begged off. I have been up since 5:30AM with the baby. My granddaughter was so tired last night she wouldn't eat dinner, so she woke early this morning, famished. Her mommy didn't feel good, so grandma (me) got to take care of her until her mommy and her mommy's boyfriend (who isn't even supposed to BE here) decided to get out of bed, around noonish. I fed Granddaughter twice, watered the trees and vines out in the front of the house, and Pipeboy took me to the store to get some diaper rash ointment for the baby, along with a few other odds and ends I needed.

00 is also supposed to come pick me up sooner or later so I can go do laundry, but as with everything else, I have to do it when she gets around to it, at her convenience. I hate not having a car, and now that it looks like Pipeboy might actually have a job, I'm not sure what 00 and I are going to do for transportation to and from work (much less laundry and other running around.) If it comes down to my quitting because I don't have a vehicle, I don't know what Boss will do. I'm sure he'll give me hell for not already having a car. The wreck of his van, I can see somewhat, as I was driving. But the blown engine on MY car was thanks to HIS mechanic buddy who didn't do his job. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have been driving Boss's van in the first place. Or, for that matter, had repairs been done on my car instead of it sitting for four months, until it was beyond repair.

However, at this point I'm so tired and so fed up I don't care if I'm suddenly jobless. I'll apply for part-time work at Wal Mart, for heaven's sake, and walk back and forth if I need to. Or better yet, I'll get on a Greyhound Bus and ride until I can find a job. A forty-hour job somewhere. I don't care where or what it is. If I leave this time of year and stick to southern states, I can survive sleeping outside if I have to.

The baby is down for a nap on my bed. Youngest Daughter and boyfriend have cleaned out nearly all the food from the cupboard and freezer. I am not buying more. Said youngest and her boyfriend are talking about driving down to Phoenix tonight. Good for them. I hope they don't come back. And no, her boyfriend hasn't offered to take me to do laundry. I don't know if he's smart enough to avoid me (doubtful) or just too lazy (more likely.) He's watching television right now. My television, in my living room.

If Tall Guy shows up (highly unlikely) I'll take him out for dinner, commitment for meal out of the way and then I can avoid him forevermore. There's another incentive for that bus out of town, come to think of it.

Good. 00 just called to say she's coming to pick me up to do laundry. I can get that done and out of the way. When I get back, with clean clothes for the baby and for Youngest Daughter, I will have the night to myself. I'll probably collapse, but at least I can do so in the temporary peace and quiet.

Before - After

In the grander scheme of things, no soul can truly be replaced. Each one of us has a place in the universal tapestry. We each contribute our own color and texture. When one thread is snipped too soon, it distorts all the threads around it. Other lives can unravel and tear. If the wrong thread is ripped away, the whole fabric of life becomes dangerously fragile.
- LeiLani, aka Radiogurl aka Bright Opal (1957 - )